A little more…

I have made a few categories to post writings into but they consist of specific subject matters.

This is what they will contain…DID you know me will host musings about dissociation, personality disorders, merging which is one way to help those people that dissociate and the very dark subject of abuse and not just verbal and physical abuse but sexual and ritualistic abuse too.  I will state here before you seek to enter this could be very triggering and grounding yourself or preparing yourself for this content would be wise.

The next subject…Eating Disorder Elixirs will focus on the fight and struggle to overcome eating disorders as this is a battle in itself that I struggled with from 10 years of age to 23 years of age.  It will deal with insight into the whys, how’s and healing.

Melancholy Moments will be generalized reflections on life as it comes to me and the general struggles we all deal with from time to time.

Nuttah’s Neighs is my journey with raising a very brilliant but energetic mare.  It will have all kinds of horsey things in it but may be very different than your general horse blogs.

Finally, Legal lesbianism will probably be the topic I discuss the least in the beginning but may elaborate on as time goes by.

I know this subject matter is very broad in scope but things I think need discussed.  And topics that I have found very little raw truth and true help out there on.   We shall see where this journey takes us.  Hopefully we will all learn and grow from this blog.

Last and most importantly….a lot has changed for me in recent months.  I have learned that my faith is the most important key to understanding and freeing me from all the sins committed against me and all of my selfish thoughts and the status of my mind.    The thing I want to leave you with is from a song that is popular on Christian radio stations right now…fear is a liar.  Fear is the biggest liar that keeps us from actualizing our full potentials.  We have all these what ifs in our minds keeping us down.  If the enemy can drag us down far enough we cannot change the world for the better and the thing that does that to us is fear.  Think about that in your own life.  What are the dreams you have let slip by because your inner thoughts have said you’re not good enough, you don’t have the potential for that, that’s too risky for your life, you won’t make a difference at all because there is too much out there to change….what would happen if you started believing?  Lately, I have been walking through that fear and taking action.  My biggest emblem to live by is COURAGE= FEAR+ACTION.  I have said my truth to my family, I have gone to work with my horse when I was absolutely immobilized by fear of what might happen, I have done things that my mind has said this is too hard and the struggle to accomplish this is an omen of doom.  I have pushed through all of that to get to the other side of this process of growth…so while gripped by fear I have gone ahead and walked through my fear and let me tell you of the rewards!  Amazing!  Amazing things have happened when I have not let fear get the best of me.  I have bonded with my horse, I have made stronger and more meaningful family connections, I have had awesome interactions with others and I have grown by leaps and bounds.  It has created joy and accomplishment and self-worth and self belief, things I have always struggled with.  Overall, this has been an act of God working in my life.  I am surrounded with the love of God right now as I am being looked for like a lost sheep in the wilderness.  I have ached for many years to hear the still small voice of God in my life and there has been silence.  Now it is there and I choose to listen, obey and create through that love.  I do not expect you to believe like I do.  The truth is Christianity has been abrasive and painful to people out there and even I struggle to attend church as it feels like a place of judgement more than love, but that is a religion.  Religion has its own agenda separate from God.  God has his (I will use God in a masculine form even though I believe God has no encompassing of gender) agenda for each of us and that is for a deep solid connection that explores and expresses God’s heart and love and design for your life.  I am in the midst of learning that currently and it is amazing.  I could truly sit in the presence of prayer and communion with my Father all day long with all that is being revealed to me, but I also have responsibilities.  But let me tell you that small amount of time I spend in the morning silence-waking and praying is something that sets the stage for the rest of my day.  I have more patience, humbleness, love and kindness for my fellow human beings when I take that time.  I wish for you a journey with the Creator as well and what it might bring to your eyes if you open your heart to the receiving.  So let us embark on this journey through hard subjects of the heart and listen to what our deepest heart tells about those pains and how to heal from them.  May God be with you.